I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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