gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
