I understand Curling. That high.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You are the jesus of drinking
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
