I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
