i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Watching her eat just hurts me
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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