I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Vodka?
Forever.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
