At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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