on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
