I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
