My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
