I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
