I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
