a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
