This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
