Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
