you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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