You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
