How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
