I feel like abortions should bother me more
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
