Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
