between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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