he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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