She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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