Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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