If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
