i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
