Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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