After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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