You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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