im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize