Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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