How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
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