she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
