dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
