so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
