She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
