I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
