I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
