He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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