peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
