Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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