i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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