This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
