apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
