i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sorry about my life...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
