i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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