dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
