i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
