i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
