Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize