I got chris browned last night
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
