i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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