I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
