Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
