SEEEEXXX PLEASE
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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