Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
