we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
