And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
