All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
