im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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