Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he fucked my hip out of place.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize