I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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